Feline Haiku

By Redenta Soprano, a botanical illustrator who lives in Florida. She says they were written by cats, but I think she wrote them her very own self.

There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.
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Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet
For once I need you.
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Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow is taken.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise
I've lost interest.
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The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
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My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
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Cat's can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
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I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
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Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.