Being Unemployed

I've been pretty seclusive lately, and the reason is this: I'm depressed! For years I wanted to quit my job with Avondale School District. After the nightmare they put me through 3 years ago, going there was almost to the point of torment. For whatever reason, they didn't "trust" (for lack of a better word) and I definitely didn't trust them. But, Jesse said I had to prove a point with them (basically prove them wrong), plus he was concerned about the economy and me being able to find another job. Then, finally, earlier this year, Jesse finally realized that working there was pushing me toward a nervous/mental break-down, and agreed that I should NOT sign my contract. At this point, I wasn't concerned. Even before the end of the school year I had TWO interviews! One in Pendergast district (teaching 4th grade) and the other in Litchfield district (my district of choice, teaching 5th grade). Unfortunately, I didn't get either of these jobs. I kinda summed it up to the fact that I hadn't interviewed in a long time, and probably didn't present myself the best I could. In late June we went on vacation, and the whole time I figured I would get more opportunities the closer we got to the new school year... And, I did. In fact, over the next month I had at least 9 more interviews. Two of those interviews pretty much offered me the job... Said I was the only candidate, only to recieve phone calls later, letting me know they gave the position to someone already in the district. This obviously did NOT make me very happy. Then the school year began, and I still did NOT have a job. This in turn meant we were running out of money, as we had gone an extra month without me getting a check. Lucky for us, Jesse's job started offering over-time, but it was tiring for him; literally working 60+ hours a week, while I continued to search for a job. The problem is: I have all this free time, but no money to do anything. Even visiting with friends is difficult because I feel embarrassed about not being able to find a job. I mean seriously, what is wrong with me?!? I am highly qualified in middle school language arts, and have 12 years of experience, so why are they NOT hiring me? Jesse thinks Avondale has placed something on my record, ruining my reputation. And, considering that's exactly what they tried to do 3 years ago, I wouldn't be surprised, either. Then, 2 weeks ago, I received a phone call from Tolleson district offering me a substitute position. It pays pretty good... $105 a day, and so far I've worked 6 days. Yessterday, I took a 7th/8th grade job and WHOA! Talk about some disrespectful 8th graders! I'll be working with them again on Tuesday, and they better watch out, cuz now I know what to expect! I'm not sure it's the ideal job, but it's better than nothing for now. In the mean time, I'm still looking for a cubicle job. I just want something that I'm given a job to do, I do it, and go home... Is that really asking for so much?!?